I had the opportunity to be in a workshop with a social exercise where two people got incredibly close to each other. I’m talking like really really uncomfortably close, as in, there was NO personal space. We were told to really look at that other person. No laughing, as any laughter or smiling indicated hiding behind nervousness, and to soften our faces. Next we were asked to relax our arms to the side of our body, feel our shoulders round back and get soft. Now look at the person, not in a creepy stare down, but really LOOK at the person.

As I was staring at strangers face, I felt my body, face and eyes relax. I began to experienced an overwhelming calm in my body and mind I have never felt before as I looked into soul of this young man from Egypt. I was overcome when I realized he is seeing me too. My soul was exposed, yet I was safe, regulated and felt known in that very moment. As my body surrendered to the safety, I began to tear up. The tears simply rolled down my face as the social armor fell.

This experience left me wondering if that was what it felt like for the lady at the well when she encountered Jesus in John 4. She was the outcast, judged and isolated for her choices in life. Instead of getting water early in the day with the other ladies of the town, she goes alone at noon. Jesus “just happens” to be there resting as the disciples go into town for food. Jesus breaks all social norms (racial, religious, gender) and asks her for a drink of water. This question felt much like the exercise. This was Jesus getting into her personal space and it collapses of her social armor as she asked why he would talk to her.

He’s reply was gentle and let her know that if she knew who was asking for a drink that she would have actually asked Him for a drink of his living water. I love how conversational this interaction was between Jesus and the woman. She so intellectually comments back that there’s no way he could give her water because he didn’t have a bucket and asks if he thinks he’s greater than their ancestor Jacob (Israel) who built the well.

Jesus continues the conversation asking if she wants the living water so that she never thirst again. She’s all for it so that she never has to come back to this well again! This is where the conversation shifts.

Jesus reveals her past, telling her everything she ever did in v16-18. In a normal social context, having your deepest secrets exposed feels terrifying, yet Jesus does not use this information to shame, scold, or condemn her. He simply names her reality. He already knows her deepest, most hidden wounds, and continues to stay.

He is still sitting there talking to her. Jesus told her that the time is now that true worshipers will worship in Spirit and in Truth and that “I am he,” v21-26, the living water. Her armor completely shattered. She was changed in this very moment…the mindset shift…aha moment. She realized who was sitting before her and who she was to Him.

The woman at the well experienced this shift so deeply that she completely forgot her errand and left her water bucket behind to run into the city. Her internal thirst had been quenched by a profound connection. There was no shame, judgement, or defensiveness that could keep her from telling everyone she met the Christ!

The workshop exercise illustrated the relationship and connection we all are meant to have with Christ and each other. We all are able to have that kind of deep, unconditional visibility the story of the well illustrates. When human beings finally feel 100% safe to stop performing or defending, the nervous system relaxes allowing us moments of raw, undefended humanity with another. We have to be willing to let Him into our personal space.